Little Bitchcisco

I know, I know.

I haven't been here in forever. But did I or did I not leave with you some a-MAY-zing guest bloggers in my absence? Indeed, I did.

PLUS, guess how my lovely step-home, San Francisco, welcomed me back this time?





So yeah, I think - for the simple fact that someone ran into my parked car while I was gone just TWO weeks after it got broken into - that you should really forgive my absence. I'm sure the five of you that read this do.

New York was splendid, by the way! As was Jamie's oh-so-lovely post about it. I wish I had read your suggestions/had any time to do anything besides work and go to meetings while I was still there. But for the most part, the weather was bearable, my hotel (The Hudson) was splendid and my meetings went swimmingly - even The New York Times!

I flew from New York to Los Angeles to be with my family and a certain Cute Boy who happened to be frequenting the area this past weekend. Had Easter breakfast with my family at Benihana's (we're traditional like that), so that was splendid and finally made it back to the car-raping capital of the world, San Francisco, just yesterday right before work.

And now I am officially back in the swing of things. And by "in the swing of things", I mean up to my retinas in work, work and more work. I am leaving on Sunday, along with my boss and coworker, TCB, for Las Vegas. I doubt there will be much viva-ing, as we are going for a conference - a wireless conference, no less, so I expect a lot of nerds - myself included.

It should be fun though.

I am pretty sure I will get to see my boss drunk, which is always a good time. Last time we were at the same after-hours work event where he dabbled heavily in the libation selection, he sat me down and gave me the most inspiring pep talk known to recent college graduates in first-time jobs that they are not so sure about. That was about 9 months ago and I'm still here, so maybe if he gets drunk in Vegas, I'll be around for another year...but I'm not making any promises.

Back to my car situation (aka Further Evidence That San Francisco is a Little Bitch), I am not quite as freaked out as I think I should be or would at least expect myself to be in this situation. Luckily, said dipshit who ran into my parked vehicle as it sat innocently across the street from my house left a note...which makes me feel kind of bad for calling them a dipshit...but then again not, because...well, you saw the pictures. So anyways, I called mom today with Dipshit's insurance info and mom being the Mom (note capital "M") she is handled all the logistics for me. Today, after work, I am getting a sweet rental ride, and my car is getting towed and made pretty again tomorrow with absolutely no cost to me.

So when you see me trolling around Little Bitchcisco in my Enterprise Sedan, don't be jealous. My poor Altima had to get her ass kicked for me to win such a prize.

Me! News Weekend and An Exhibit in How San Francisco is NOT Keeping it Classy

So I am perfectly aware that I had grandiose dreams of actually blogging while I was away this weekend and therefore was not in need of the literary genius that are my favorite bloggers (see previous blog post).

And…yeah. Not so much.

I’ll be better next time, I promise.

So this weekend was everything I hoped for and more. As I walked out of my Southwest plane onto those perilously dangerous airplane stairs at the Burbank Airport, I breathed in the sunshine and warmth and smog and everything just felt…better. Every little thing that’s been bothering me lately (work and…well, mostly just work) just went away. And it was glorious.

And that’s just Reason #1 why I need to move out of San Francisco.

Here’s what I accomplished while I was in Los Angeles: while still working (because I still had to work remotely on Friday, you know), I got one client a briefing with the Los Angeles Times and I got another client a free speaking opportunity at a conference in New York (I also got the organizer of said conference to invite me to stay at her house in New York for the length of the event. Um, yeah. I’ll get right on that.).

And THEN I spent the rest of my weekend being entirely unproductive.

On Friday night, I went out to Roy’s and The Standard downtown with my best gal from San Diego – we’ll call her Songbird (because her voice reminds me of those singing birds from Snow White) – and my other San Francisco buddy, Tio Troll (don’t ask; there is a story behind these names). Even though there was a twenty dollar cover to go up on the roof (where the pool and the view and the good drinks and all the really, really, ridiculously good-looking people reside), we got wristbanded and sent up without so much as a dollar spent. We must just be that good-looking…or something.

Tio Troll and Me

On Saturday, I had a nice little “Girls Day” with mom – getting a mani/pedi (and painting my nails neon pink as a nice little heads-up to the job – “Look at my hot pink nails! You can’t hold me down!”) and then subsequently running around with her completing her multitudinous and varying errands. And Saturday night I spent watching “The Nanny Diaries” (I do NOT recommend it. I was so disappointed in ScarJo and Ms. Keys.) and finishing “Eat, Pray, Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert (if you’re one of three people who haven’t read it – like I was – I HIGHLY recommend it).



Oh and did I mention that I bought another book while I was at the airport because I have a serious (and nearly unhealthy) obsession with buying new books to read? I didn’t? Oh. Well, I did – and so I started reading that on Saturday night as well.

Finally, on Sunday, I went to Urth Caffe with my Songbird and we had a glorious three hour brunch in the SPLENDID sun (it was actually only about an hour and a half, but they make you wait SO long for your food – it felt like an eternity – so three hours is not too much of an exaggeration). Then my Bearer of Life and I went to the bookstore (yes, again. don’t judge me.) and I bought “The Essential Noam Chomsky” for my Boy. He’s so smart. It almost makes me feel inferior that he wants to read Noam Chomsky and I am counting down the days until Jen Lancaster’s next book comes out, but then I think about it just a moment longer and I realize who is REALLY the stupid one here – and it ain’t Jen and me.*

The rest of Sunday was a blur of mom’s fettucine alfredo, a two-hour nap on the couch, a brand spanking new episode of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” (which I swear I only watched because NOTHING else was on) packing up my stuff, falling asleep again and then waking up a short four hours later to leave for the airport.

And my Monday? Well, so far so alright. My Boy picked me up from the airport and I missed his Cute Little Face, so that was a good start. But he picked me up in my car – which, oh by the way, got BROKEN INTO THIS WEEKEND !!

!!!

Did I forget to mention that? Of COURSE, San Francisco can’t let me have one weekend of pure bliss, relaxation and unproductivity in Los Angeles. She is such a jealous bitch.

So some trolls shattered the passenger side window of my car early Sunday morning and stole…nothing.

Thanks a lot, you fucking dicknoses!

Everyone seems to think I should be relieved that they didn’t steal anything, but really there was nothing of value to steal in my car, so I am pretty much just pissed that I just spent $1700 on my car in the past two weeks and now I have to get a new window. And of course, I blame this entirely on San Francisco because she and I have been going at it for awhile now and this did NOT make our living situation any better.

And that, my loveliest of readers, is Reason #2 why I need to move out of San Francisco.

T minus 11 days until I am in LA again…

*I kid, I kid. I really love Noam Chomsky, but I’ve got a few more chick-lit and self-help books to get out of the way before I crack open old Noam-y.

Tuesday Musings

I had one of those nights last night. One of those nights where my heart just ached for my family and my friends (who do not live in San Francisco) and where I couldn’t help but think that, for as great as this City is, it is not my home and I can’t wait until my mom and my Crystal and my Jackie are just a half hour drive away at most.

Usually when I have those kind of moments, I’ll wake up the next morning and the sun will be shining, the sky will be a brilliant blue, the air will be crisp but refreshing and I’ll walk into work thinking, “God, I’m lucky to be experiencing my first few years of adulthood in this city.”

Yeah, not today.

Today, I wake up, throw on my mocs, walk outside…and it’s raining. Fucking raining. Goddammit, San Francisco, you know how I feel about rain!!

So that’s that. San Francisco and I are in a fight right now.

On a brighter note – please take a gander at my new shoes !!



Okay, I promise to stop talking about them…for today. Besides, who doesn’t like a brighter note on a rainy day?

In other news, Fidel Castro resigned today. I can’t help feeling that this news isn’t altogether spectacular. I mean, the man is on his deathbed; in fact, he hasn’t been seen in public since 2006 so he could already be dead for all we know. My point is, the damage has been done. And now his brother Raul, Mr. Sunshine himself, will be taking over power. Splendid. So while it’s all well and good that Fidel won’t be wielding his dictatorial iron fist over Cuba anymore, the Castro regime lives on which, I think, can’t really equate to anything good.

Per usual, I think my boy Barack said it best: “Cuba's future should be determined by the Cuban people and not by an anti-democratic successor regime.”



And, my final thought for this particular post, have you ever been reading a blog and thought, “My goodness, this person is witty. And real. And honest. And god, I wish I could write like them?” That’s how I feel about this little gem. She keeps it real, spaces her lines out for your visual pleasure, plus she has adorable kids AND adorable bangs. Read her.

I leave you with video of Cruz Beckham (I think you can figure out who his parents are) breakdancing. I love me some breakdancing 3-year olds :)